"Lessons I Learned From The Little People" by Dr. Terri L. Major-Kincade MD MPH

This blog post has been contributed by Dr. Terri Major-Kindcade from her blog, "Lessons I Learned From The Little People". 

 “Numbers are just numbers… but life is life.”

It’s August!! We are halfway through the New Year and it’s the time that I like to reset! Reflect! Recommit and Renew. I figure if the kids are starting over with the school year, so can I. Fortunately in the NICU there is always something new to learn and a new miracle to behold. I’d like to share with you what I have learned from NICU parents about strength. Perhaps it’s just what you need to reset your August!

I am often amazed at the strength of the parents of our tiniest babies-- the fighters-- the 1lb hero's and shero's that are often celebrated in the media. What goes through their minds as one physician after another begins to share grim and frightening statistics shortly after birth. At times when parents should be contemplating when the baby shower will be, which crib is best and what color should the nursery be, doctors are saying, "your child has only a 30-40% chance of living. If your child does live he or she may have severe brain damage or may be blind or may develop intestinal or cardiac complications. We will do everything we can, but it does not look good." How do they keep smiling through the tears? How do they persevere to the silver lining?? In 16 years, I have yet to find the answer to this question. But just recently I got a bit of a glimpse through a 410 gram or 14 ounce human being.

    She was only the second smallest baby I had ever taken care of that lived… and boy was she a teeny tiny thing. I looked at her… she looked at me... both of us wondering what on Earth is going on. She was there when I shared those grim numbers with her parents, but like them, she kept on breathing. Like them she kept on kicking. Like them she kept on showing up saying, "What’s next Dr. Kincade?? What’s next?" In one of those rare moments of me the Giant staring at her the not so giant she seemed to say, “Kincade… I heard what you said… but you know what? Numbers are just numbers… but life is life... and I’m here, so keep it moving!! What else are you gonna do? Keep staring at me every day singing the same ole song? I am ready for a new tune!” And a new tune is what she got. It’s been two months since I stared into the eyes of that 14 ounce human and now she’s a whopping 3 lbs!! She didn’t know about the number, she just knew she was here and her drive was to breathe. I think our own lives are very much the same, but sometimes we get side tracked by the numbers. I wonder what would happen if we chose to keep on moving despite the numbers! Keep on breathing! Keep on kicking and gasp, SING A NEW SONG! Who knows, we might find out that we actually like the new song… AND the new numbers. How cool would that be?!? Go for it why don’t ya? If a 14 ounce human can do it, so can we!!!

Newsletter Contributor:

Terri L. Major-Kincade MD MPH
Pediatrix Medical Group, North Dallas

Chair Neonatal Palliative Care Teams THR Dallas and THR Plano

www.drterrimajorkincade.com

www.preemieprints.org

Encouraging Words For NICU Parents

Part of our mission here at Preemie Prints is to share hope with NICU and preemie parents through encouraging words, scripture, prayer, and sometimes even through humor! We'll be sharing some preemie support and NICU support here on the blog today! In addition, look for our new monthly newsletters to start hitting your inbox soon. We have a new volunteer on board to help with these, and we're so excited to welcome Sarah!! This will be another way to reach our supporters who aren't on facebook. We've also got a new IG account. You can continue to follow us on fb, twitter, & pinterest of course.

Here are some inspiring words to encourage you as you travel the NICU journey with your baby. We hope these words and images bring a smile to you and share hope as your baby fights in the NICU!

To my children...If I had to choose between loving you and breathing....I would use my last breath to tell you I love You. In the NICU we would trade places with our babies in a heartbeat. Their strength inspires us and reminds us that although they may be tiny they are the strongest people we know. 

Through The Glass

As I love you thru the glass, 

the hours seem so slow to pass.

I stroke your skin, and hold your hand;

this isn't exactly what I had planned.

I cast my eyes up to the sky,

and say a little prayer;

that the Lord will hold you in His arms,

and keep you in His care,

so sleep and grow my baby, 

and dream of clouds of foam,

and I will Love you thru the glass

until you can come home.

A Person's a person, No matter how small!! True words!! 

I'm a preemie's mommy For nothing is impossible with God

Luke 1:27

Things you DO NOT SAY To A NICU Parent:

"At least, with the baby in the NICU, you can get rest at night!"

Encouraging Words:

"My 25 weeker was in the NICU for 150 days. My advice to new NICU

parents is don't let the fear steal your joy. Even in the darkest of times --- find joy"

"When someone is going through a story, your silent presence is more powerful than 

a million empty words"

Preemie are "small but mighty"

Visit www.preemieprints.org to learn more about our no-charge NICU photography program & handmade items for preemie and NICU parents. 

NICU and Preemie Ecards

Here are a few NICU and preemie ecards for you NICU moms and dads! Leave comments below for other ideas if you have them! Hoping there were many homecomings this Easter Sunday. Enjoy!

If you have ideas for more let us know! These little preemie and NICU e-cards bring lots of joy, offer support, and let others know they are not alone. That's why we're here and these small tid-bits of inspiration and information for preemie parents and parents who have a baby in the NICU really help to spread hope. Many blessings to NICU families tonight! 

No Touching Preemie On Board Sign - Free Printables

So we shared a photo recently of a little sign attached to a carrier that reads "No Touching your germs are too BIG for me" it was made to look like a caution sign and super cute! We got lots of likes and feedback from moms and dads who wanted one. So here it is! You are free to print these signs and use to politely tell others not to touch your baby. It's amazing that we have to do this, but you know how many people like to touch little babies (even in situations we'd never expect!!). Having preemies and NICU babies we just can't take the risk! There are 4 caution sign designs to choose from. Directions and free preemie printables are below. Enjoy!

Directions

1. Click this link

2. Print the file - it would be best to print on cardstock

3. Laminate

4. Trim

5. Punch a hole (make sure it's big enough) so that you can use one of those toy rings to slip through it!

6. Hang wherever you like and protect your baby from germs

How To Help New NICU Parents

Gift items to help parents in the NICU....

"My son was born at 30 weeks and spent about a month and a half in the NICU in two different cities. I have to say, the most helpful thing people did for my husband and I was to drop off meals - casseroles, soups, curries - as we had no energy to cook, if we even remembered to eat."

"ALSO, a really great prezzie is a great hand lotion for dry, cracked hands. Having to wash my hands and sanitize them at every moment in the hospital saved my son, but destroyed my hands. The hand lotion I got in a care package from some friends was a life saver."

"Another gift to consider is a book of nursery rhymes, children's poetry or other rhythmic stories. The sound of a parent's voice can be soothing to a newborn, and reading gives parents a way to feel close to their little ones in that challenging environment."

"My twins were born at 24 weeks, 2 years ago...it is a long road to say the least. There at many emotions that your friend are dealing with that no one will understand unless they have ever dealt with their own children's mortality. While my kids were in for those four months, my best friend lived across the country, and I missed her terribly at that time. One of the sweetest things she did for me, was she knit me a blanket. When I wrapped up with that while holding the kids, she was right there with me. You are so kind to be seeking advice, follow your heart. So people just left us alone because they didn't know what to do, that at times we did feel lonely, so reach out!"

"We were actually given a visa gift card by a group of friends, which was great because we could use it anywhere, gas, food."

"My daughter was born at 23 weeks and only weighed 15 ounces. They gave her a 5% chance of surviving and we were in the hospital for a little over 4 months. It is an extremely hard road. I definitely agree with the suggestion to give gift cards to restaurants/grocery stores. Also, for a while my daughter was in the Children's hospital an hour away and I would have loved if someone gave us gas cards to help with the commute."

"The NEED and WANT to be close to the babies as muh as possible is really the over-riding emotion for your friends. I hated leaving my son at night and driving home, and driving back and forth. If there is a hotel/motel across the street or nearby, a gift certificate for a few night's stay would be great so she an stay closer and just walk over for feedings but get some rest in between instead of spend her time driving."

"All the suggestions have been fantastic. Anything that can personalise the space their babies are would be welcome. I felt like our twins weren't even ours when they were in hospital. They were wearing hospital clothing/hats, blankets and booties. As soon I was able I used our own things and it gave me the courage to start speaking up because these two little people belonged to us - not the nurses and the hospital."

"Oh, and if you want to help her when the babies come home- set up a free MealBaby.com account for her so she can let local friends/family sign up to deliver meals. It feels presumptuous to create one for yourself, but it would be really handy to reference when people ask now "What can we do?" The answer: drop off a meal when the babies come home."

"It's shocking how having mundane needs met can restore a person's hope and energy."

"There's almost no time for basic self-care. Laundry service, maid service (with a 24 week birth the house was probably left in a complete uproar), lawn service, and/or meal preparation services* might relieve your friend of normal responsibilities that she's too overwhelmed to address."

"One more thought...maybe get a pack of thank you cards and stamp and put her return address on all the envelopes? If you have alot of the same friends, I bet you could even write addresses on a bunch of them. The baby gifts will be unstoppable and she'll be writing a million thank you notes in the coming months."

In General -

1. Clothes for baby
2. You could (even from afar) pay for a maid service to come and clean their home, I know ours was so chaotic and messy from rushing home after 8 pm in the evening, trying to eat, then sleep, then rushing out at 7am to head back to the NICU, a clean home can sometimes make even the worst situations more barable.
3. Food for her during the day, and especially meals waiting at their doorstep at night that are easy to reheat and dont involve much clean up.
4. Gift cards! For meals, or even for general stores for picking up diapers and other things most mamas have months to prepare for or get at showers that mamas of babies born prematurely find themselves without.
5. Care package of snacks for Mama while she's at the NICU during the day...Instant oatmeal, granola bars, CHOCOLATE :) Instant pudding, fruit...
6. Encouragement and prayer!