the Lynch Family's NICU Grad Session

Please enjoy Preemie Prints' families’ inspirational story & photos. Consider supporting our mission to share hope with families who have a baby born prematurely or critically ill. We thank our supporters, Preemie Prints volunteers, and donors for allowing us to continue touching the lives of NICU, preemie, and angel families. 

We hope these special memories from Preemie Prints will help families heal and remember how strong they were in overcoming their NICU journey together.

Hadley, Paisley, and Finley: triplets born at 23.4 weeks.  Sadly, Finley passed away two months after birth.  When the Lynch family visited our volunteer photographer's studio (Jennifer Sternal-Johnson of Blackbird Photography ) we wanted to make sure to include memories of Finley in Hadley and Paisley's photos. 

Preemie Prints is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization sharing hope with NICU families through a variety of support programs. One of those programs is the gift of NICU photography and preemie photography. NICU families from across the US can request a no-charge photography session by a Preemie Prints volunteer. The family request form can be found on the right side of our website. These sessions are free of charge and for any NICU family, regardless of time spent in the NICU. The NICU photo shoot can take place inside the NICU or after baby is discharged and at home until their 1st birthday. Facing time in a NICU with a premature or critically ill baby is an extremely difficult time for families. Preemie Prints has a mission to share hope by letting families know they are not alone. Preemie Prints currently has over 100 volunteers nationwide. We are always looking for more volunteers to share in our mission! If you are interested, please email sherri@preemieprints.org and visit our website at www.preemieprints.org. To date Preemie Prints and our volunteers have gifted over 1000 NICU family sessions. 

This was a Preemie Prints NICU Graduate photography session that took place near Rochester NY.

We're thankful to the family for sharing their story & memories in support of other NICU families.

“Life and Death in the NICU and the Miracles in Between: Open your eyes!!" by Dr. Terri L. Major-Kincade MD MPH

This blog post has been contributed by Dr. Terri Major-Kindcade from her blog, "Lessons I Learned From The Little People". 

 Lessons I learned from the Little People:

“Life and Death in the NICU and the Miracles in Between: Open your eyes!!      

                                              

I have always associated September with National Infant Mortality Awareness Month…a time when we all pause to reflect on the thousands of babies who die each year before their 1st birthday and the causes of those deaths including prematurity, birth defects, and sudden infant death syndrome. But this year on my ever current Facebook timeline I was informed that it was also the first Neonatal Intensive Care Awareness Month. Who knew? Certainly not I! The goals for Neonatal Intensive Care Awareness are to bring attention to those medical conditions requiring admission to the NICU but also to the staff that care for those babies and the awesome families who celebrate these tiny fighters. To add to that October in Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Awareness Month which focuses more on pain of miscarriage, still birth and early infant deaths.

So just think about that National Infant Mortality Awareness Month and Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Awareness month .. in honor of death AND Neonatal Intensive Care Awareness Month in honor of life. Talk about night and day…but the more I thought about it the more I realized this makes perfect sense. It’s one of the reasons that I love my job so much!! Although I am constantly walking the line between life and death…beginnings and oh so short endings..I am constantly blessed in ways that can’t be measured in words. What have I learned in these moments between life and death, beginnings and endings from these tiny warriors and the people they call family?

I have learned that angels come in many sizes shapes and packages. They may hold my hand at the bedside when I am trying not to cry in front of a parent. They may visit in a sweet prayer circle as we stand around the tiny bed of an even tinier soul. They may arrive bringing pizza in the midst of a horrible night shift when no one has had time to eat or even go to the bathroom for 12hours. They may visit for few moments in the delivery room, just to allow  us to witness a few precious breaths or the occasional fragile heartbeat all just to remind us of our humanity. As if anyone in this business could ever take for granted the fragility of life. But then things go back to normal and angels come back to visit this time for days, even months in the NICU and then decide suddenly without warning but with great fanfare, that their work here is done. In the quiet..through the tears we receive again..another reminder that none of us are in control. Yes here more than ever we do understand that control is an illusion! 

I have learned that miracles are not trapped in the pages of my bible but miracles are living, breathing, crying and walking around me every day…I just have to open my eyes…clear my ears…take time to breathe. So I open my eyes and clear my ears and I see a baby crying, kicking and screaming… and I smile …why? Because it’s a baby I thought would not be here..yep Miracle.  I see a baby finally get to go home after 10 long months…months when so many of us had given up..yep Miracle. I see a family visit yearly to celebrate the staff and honor the memory of their child…a sweet angel gone too soon..and I see staff  comforted. Who does that??? Yep miracle.  I see foundations started in memory of babies gone …and in hope of babies to come… Yep Miracle. And I see me a little brown girl form Louisiana blessed with being able to live her dream in a world where many are not…Yep Miracle.

The little people have taught me to LIVE in the moments…the moments in BETWEEN life and death, in BETWEEN beginnings and endings…for in this great big thing we call life…that’s truly all we have. And you know what the Angels are there. The Miracles are there. It’s enough for the little people. It’s enough for me? I pray that it’s enough for you too!

Newsletter Contributor:

Terri L. Major-Kincade MD MPH
Pediatrix Medical Group, North Dallas

Chair Neonatal Palliative Care Teams THR Dallas and THR Plano

www.drterrimajorkincade.com

Miss Harper's Preemie Prints NICU Photo Shoot

Please enjoy Preemie Prints' families inspirational photos and consider supporting our mission to share hope with families who have a baby born prematurely or critically ill. 

We pray these special memories will help families remember how strong 
they were in overcoming their NICU journey together.

NICU STORY | THOUGHTS FROM MOM

"I found out I was pregnant on August 21st. October 10th, I found out I was going to have twins and was 11 weeks. October 14th I went to the ER, becuase I had excessive bleeding, turns out everything was fine, and I was put on bed rest for two weeks. November 4th I found out I was blessed with a little boy and girl. A few weeks later I was admitted to the hospital. I had to have my cervix sewn up because I was 100% effaced. I was then on bed rest until December 20th when they admitted me to the hospital once again. I was dilated to 3cm. I am from Tyler, TX and was there until December 24th when they life flighted me to Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas, TX. 

On December 26th I had my precious baby boy, Brody Dene. He was 23 weeks 1 day, weighed 1 lb 3 ozs and was 11.5 inches long. He was born naturally. My little girl Harper Lee was still nice and cozy in my tummy, bouncing off the walls because she had all kinds of room now. Brody then passed away 3 days later on the 29th due to several issues. I never got to hold him or really see him until he passed away. I didn't want to let him go, but I knew I had to stay strong for my baby girl. On January 1st I had Miss Harper. She was 24 weeks, weighed 1 lb 5 ozs, and was 11.5 inches long. She was born by emergency C-Section.

Harper was born very premature and has been through a lot. She had gotten a bacterial infection - which I am not going to even begin to try to spell. It was pretty serious, she got really sick, and they had to put her on a bigger vent with very high settings. She was on three different blood pressure medications and insulin. Shis is now off of all that and is on a bubble CPaP - meaning she is pretty much breathing on her own. She also has stage 4 IVH on both sides of her brain. She is 30 weeks now, and they are monitoring her head growth. If it continues, they will send her to a different hospital and will have to put a reservoir in her head to drain the fluid off. If it does not start draining by itself, then later on they will go in and put in a shunt. We are hopeful that everything will turn out just fine and we won't have to go through all of that. God has a plan and he is in charge. We have to give it all to him and have faith."

Preemie Prints Volunteer Photographer:

Minvi Duncan - Dallas, TX

A note from Minvi:

"It was such a pleasure to meet Berlynn and Baby Harper last Friday. As a first time volunteer for Preemie Prints, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect when I got up to the NICU floor of Baylor Medical Center in Dallas. The nursing staff was kind enough to show me exactly where they were. Once inside, Berlynn came to meet me and led me in to see Harper Lee.

Harper Lee, all of 6+ lbs. was sound asleep the first few minutes I was there. Although she has gained weight since she was first born, she still looked so delicate. Dressed beautifully in a pink outfit complete with a matching pink bow of curly ribbons and feathers., she is such a little angel -- all beautiful and quietly content.

As we got ready for the shoot, Berlynn picked up Harper Lee and held her lovingly in her arms.You can tell right away the strong bond between them. Harper Lee was quiet throughout the shoot until about the time I was getting ready to pack. Then her eyes opened, and I just had to take some more pictures. before leaving. She didn't seem to mind the extra attention.

Thank you Berlynn for the opportunity to meet you and Harper Lee. I pray for the day that she finally gets released from the hospital so you two can be together peacefully back at home. You are a brave person and one day, in time, Harper Lee will know all that."

Preemie Prints support programs include NICU photography, preemie photography, and NICU graduate photography. Through this program we give the gift of photography at no charge for a NICU family. Other Preemie Prints support programs include the gift of handmade items, the gift of angel gifts for parent experiencing a loss, group events and meetings, information, and email support. Our mission is to support parents and let them know they are not alone. We thank our supporters, Preemie Prints volunteers, and donors for allowing us to continue touching the lives of NICU, preemie, and angel families. 

Preemie Prints is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization sharing hope with NICU families through a variety of support programs. One of those programs is the gift of NICU photography and preemie photography. NICU families from across the US can request a no-charge photography session by a Preemie Prints volunteer. The family request from can be found on the right side of our website. These sessions are free of charge and for any NICU family, regardless of time spent in the NICU. The NICU photo shoot can take place inside the NICU or after baby is discharged and at home until their 1st birthday. Facing time in a NICU with a premature or critically ill baby is an extremely difficult time for families. Preemie Prints has a mission to share hope by letting families know they are not alone. Preemie Prints currently has over 75 volunteers nationwide. We are always looking for more volunteers to share in our mission! If you are interested, please email sherri@preemieprints.org and visit our website at www.preemieprints.org. To date Preemie Prints and our volunteers have gifted over 375 NICU family sessions. 

Angel Baby Butterfly Release In College Station, Tx - In Honor Of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

October 22nd, 2016
Angel Event from 11:30 - 12:00

Tiffany Park, Bryan Tx

October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month and Together We Honor Our Angels.

You are invited to honor your baby with us at this very special event

This is a very special ceremony honoring our tiny angels. October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. In Bryan College Station we celebrate the lives of babies who were only with us here for a short time, by releasing a butterfly. You and your family are invited if you have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss in your life.

Prior to the butterfly release a community hospital chaplain will speak and lead us in a prayer.

The release of the butterflies will commence our event.

If you plan to attend this event in honor of your angel please RSVP by calling/texing (979)635-0825. Include your baby's name and number of people who will be attending in support with you. You are also encouraged to bring handmade candles, create special t-shirts, and invite your friends and family to attend with you. 

In the folklore of some Native American tribes, the butterfly means change or balance and many believe they bring good luck. The Papago tribe believed that if you catch a butterfly and whisper your secrets to them; the butterfly unable to make a sound, would carry the secret to the great spirits. The spirits greatful that the butterfly was set free would bestow the wish upon the person who made it. This is one reason butterfly releases are so popular today.

In Japan, a butterfly is said to be the personification of a person's soul; whether they be living, dying, or dead. Many cultures view the butterfly as rebirth or renewal.

These representations can be important concepts for an angel family after experiencing the loss of a child. The butterfly to one family may mean a child's soul coming back to visit them while another may view the butterfly as a path for moving on within their "new life" or as a welcoming sign of the birth of another child. With each butterfly released, the individual places their hopes and dreams and deepest desires with the butterfly as they let it go hoping the butterfly carries them to our own personal "Great Spirit".

Feeling Happiness Again After A Loss

I am in a wonderful group and this topic was discussed the other day. I wanted to share a couple of  thoughts with our group. Please feel free to post your comments and feelings on the subject. Blessings to all.

It has been told to bereaved moms by many that they will never feel true happiness again. I personally feel that this may very well be true for some, but not others. It could take a very, very, long time --- days, months, or years, but many mothers and fathers find it again. You should not abandon hope and if you do find it there should be no guilt surrounding it. You are honoring your child's life.

____________________

There can be a feeling of guilt that first time we feel happy after a child dies. If the pain lifts does this mean we no longer care so much about our child? At the same time, we know we can't live with such sorrow forever. We need to know we will once again feel joy in life. At times that joy seems like it will never arrive, so I guess it's good to talk with others who have been along the same pathway. We can encourage each other to keep plodding along. I think true happiness is possible but not in the same way we experienced it in the past. Actually, for me, joy is a better word because we can be joyful even if we sorrow. And sorrow never really disappears. We just learn to live with it. We can even be thankful for it. It changes us completely and we look at happiness in a different way. When we can turn to God and thank him for our child and all the sorrow and accept what He allowed, I feel we have reached a point where God can start to turn that sorrow to joy.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Last night we had a beautiful candle lighting and balloon release ceremony following our family potluck dinner to honor our angels. Here is a beautiful slideshow put together by a Preemie Prints volunteer.

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

October 15th - Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day

We are so blessed to have Jeff Borcherding, chaplain at the College Station Medical Center, David Casper musician, and Charity the Clown joining us for this special evening celebrating angels! This event takes place on October 15th in honor of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day. Please RSVP.

If you do not live in Bryan College Station area or within driving distance, please check out this wonderful list of similar events taking place across the nation and plan to attend.

Come out and enjoy a fun potluck family picnic and honor your angel. All families who have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss are invited to honor their angel. The public, friends, and family are invited to attend in support! 

Playscapes, swings, basketball courts and
activities for kids & families to enjoy together. Bring a “potluck” food item. You can bring a plate of sandwiches, appetizers, side dishes, chips, fruits or veggies, drinks, or a sweet treat to share with other families. 

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
We will have a candle lighting & balloon release ceremony.
Please bring a personalized candle, wear family t-shirts, or bring another memory item in honor of your angel.

The names of each child will be read aloud followed by a moment of silence. At this point, anyone wanting to say a few words may do so. (More information on schedule to follow). A local hospital chaplain will also be present to speak.

If you cannot be present but would like to participate please email you angels name to amber@preemieprints.org to be read aloud during the release.

October 15, 2012
6:00 - 8:00
Central Park - College Station Tx
RSVP: amber@preemieprints.org
www.preemieprints.org

Pictures From The Event:

An Infant Loss ~ My First Born Son

My first born was 4 weeks early weighing 6lbs 4oz. He was a healthy and happy baby and came home with me after 3 days in the hospital. He had to have a UV light because he was Jaundice but other than that nothing else was wrong with him. As a new parent, I had the ups and downs and just don’t know moments like most parents do. After we figured out a rhythm to our days, things got better.

 In December of 2003 he had a temp of 103. We took him into the hospital because the temp just wouldn’t go down. He had x-rays and other tests done to figure out why his temp would not go down. Finally it started to go down with Tylenol and Ibuprofen and alternating the two of them. We were told to keep doing that for the next few days so the fever would stay down.

Tragedy happened on the 28^th of December 2003. I woke up to feed him in the morning and he was my smiling little man; I put him back to bed and went back to bed myself. I woke up about 4 hrs later when he should have been up 2 hrs before that. I ran to his crib to find that he was not breathing and blue. He was gone. There was nothing the paramedics could do for him. My heart broke in a million pieces that day. I went into a deep hole where I couldn’t see any light. My light was gone he was dead.

Dead is a word that I didn’t want to even think about. A word that until this day only meant that older people died not 5 month old babies who haven’t even seen the world. I didn’t get to see my little man until he was in his casket at the funeral home. I was living in a dream world. This couldn’t be happening, it must be a nightmare this couldn’t be happening to me. It wasn’t a dream but it truly was a nightmare. I stared at my little boy wanting to hold him but knowing I couldn’t hold him ever again. Never see that smile that was just for me. To hold that freshly washed baby and cuddle with him before bed. I wouldn’t be singing him good night anymore. 

I had to put The End to the story I had wrote about him for him to read when he got older. He would never read this story because he was no longer here on Earth with me.  I buried my 5 month 1 week old son on New Year’s Eve 2003. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do - to leave my son in the cold at the cemetery to be buried.

Weeks later we were able to get the report on what happened to him. SIDS they ruled it. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. What is it I asked? They told me that he just died and they don’t know why this happens. I didn’t understand what SIDS meant. The medical people could only tell me it was SIDS and nothing can explain this cause of death. No one could tell me how this happens and why.

Birth

5 months old

Resting place

So here I was in a hole so deep no one could see me. I made it seem like I was ok. I put on my I’m just fine face. I was told by many people just to forget about it when I would lose that I’m ok persona and cry like a baby over stupid things.

I am on year 9 without my son. We celebrated his 9^th birthday this summer. We will remember him on his 9^th Angelversary this December. Does it get easier...a bit. Do I remember it like it was yesterday... yes.  Do I want got go back into my hole sometimes?  Do I cry like a baby? Yes I do and I’m not afraid to admit that. I found the strength to get out of my hole 5 years ago when I met my husband.

~Deja

Deja is a guest blogger for Preemie Prints blogging about infant loss, preemie adoption, and special needs babies. We are blessed to have her! 

What Makes A Mother?

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard Him say.

"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby's not with you?"

"Yes, you can," He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this God
I want my baby to be here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.

"I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
With all the other children and say...

'We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'

"So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson's through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
it's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start

Though some on earth may not realize,
you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!"

Remembering An Angel

I was so blessed to receive this beautiful poem (see "Our Angel" at the end of this post) from an amazing family who heartbreakingly just lost their precious baby girl. I asked her if it would be okay to share the poem with our Preemie Prints family, and she said absolutely. As soon as I read this my eyes filled with tears; it is beautiful. Although this little girl lived a very short life here on earth, she has touched many of our lives. As I visited with her mom up at the hospital, I got to know baby Damony and her mother's love. We were also blessed to provide this family with a priceless Preemie Prints photo shoot. Kassi Cooper was the volunteer photographer who met baby Damony. I know it was an extremely special day for both her and Damony's mom. As we talked yesterday, I let her know that we will always be here to support her family as they travel the difficult road ahead and that Damony will always be a part of our Preemie Prints family. I thank them for allowing us to share this beautiful poem with you and pictures of their beautiful daughter.

Baby Damony with her Preemie Prints bunny

Our Angel

When you first came and entered this world 

We were so happy and proud

Time to welcome our new baby girl.

When you first opened your eyes, we were so excited

because they sparkled like stars in the sky.

When you made your first movements, we were amazed a

feeling that cannot be explained.

The first time we touched you, it sent chills down my spine, 

I'll never forget the first time we heard you cry.

Your mother looked at me and it brought tears to my eyes.

That night I had a dream I saw many footprints off in the sand

Then I saw your uncle's and family holding your hand.

So as you take your journey to the heavens, your new home;

our Angel since birth you won't never walk alone.

You will be missed but never forgotten.

Damony our Princess we love you and the rest of the family too.

For Those Grieving

Please Be Gentle

By Jill B. Englar

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.

The sea I swim in is a lonely one

and the shore seems miles away.

Waves of despair numb my soul

as I struggle through each day.

My heart is heavy with sorrow.

I want to shout and scream

and repeatedly ask ‘Why?’

At times, my grief overwhelms me

and I weep bitterly,

so great is my loss.

Please don’t turn away

or tell me to move on with my life.

I must embrace my pain

before I can begin to heal.

Companion me through the tears

and sit with me in loving silence.

Honor where I am in the journey,

not where you think I should be.

Listen patiently to my story,

I may need to tell it over and over again.

It’s how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss.

Nurture me through the weeks and months ahead.

Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable.

A small flame still burns within my heart,

and shared memories may trigger

both laughter and tears.

I need your support and understanding.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

I must find my own path.

Please, will you walk beside me?